I met my husband on a very beautiful day in June 2010. We have been pretty well inseparable from one another since that day. I was sincerely lucky to find someone who has been this supportive, and in 2017 I said YES to his proposal. One year later, we got hitched!

We moved, bought our second home together, found new careers!

Even before the wedding date the hubby and I had started actively trying to have a child. He was not super on board with the tracking that goes into actually trying to have a child. But from my experience and that of my friends, many families have difficulty conceiving. To his defense, it seemed unnatural, and he just wanted it to happen when it happens.

I am over 30 with a Type A personality, so naturally, it was never just going to happen when it happens!
After downloading a fertility tracking app (there are so many options and they are all great), I began to track and learn more about pregnancy and getting pregnant. I already knew that with my PTSD and anxiety, my stress levels would be an issue. I was able to track my stress as well as other symptoms for each day.

Fast forward 2 years and we are still not pregnant. The feelings of inadequacy, stress, and jealousy towards others who have been successful can sometimes be overwhelming. Each month you are reminded that it didn’t work out. “Is there something wrong with me?!?!?!?”
We met with our fertility specialist for the first time and we went through our basic histories with her. She went through a previous test results and made simple suggestions for some modifications to our lifestyles that could assist us in getting pregnant. These simple health tips included:
• Good nights sleep
• Exercise
• Good nutrition and Vitamins
• No smoking or 420
• No Drinking
• Stress Reduction
• Treating his sleep apnea

Obviously, these are general healthy lifestyle tips, but the healthier your body is, the more likely you are to conceive. Many of us lead very sedimentary life styles, especially when it comes to truck drivers. This lack of activity will affect your health, fertility, and motility!
I had worked diligently to reduce all stressors in my life, including leaving roles that didn’t align with my goals. As an HR and Safety professional in a male dominated field, it can be very stressful managing the relationships between your staff, managers and owners. Throw in all the different cultures and backgrounds that make up the trucking industry and it can be both a challenging and a rewarding workplace for women. You will definitely need to be up to the challenge!

Even as I sit here writing this, I am wondering if I am going to be judged? I don’t know if I want anyone to know I am trying to have a family because I am interested in my career progression. There have been too many times I have been asked where I see myself in 5 years, or not to mention the meetings where other managers would rather choose a different candidate because this candidate could get pregnant.

Of course, my career is 100% important to me; I love helping companies be more profitable and help employees find great employers to work for. I love bringing positivity to the workplace to create employee engagement and connection.

But I also know that a family and a career are not mutually exclusive ideas. Many men and women are highly successful “despite” (or maybe because of) having a family. When employees know they are supported through company policies and supports they are able to manage their stress more effectively, they are more engaged in the company and are more likely to return to work after their leave is completed.

My husband and I plan to split our time off, as we are encouraged by the changes to the laws that recognize the vital parts that both parents play. It is important to our house hold in general. If and when we are able to make this baby happen.

We are encouraged by the support and flexibility given to us by our workplace to attend the many (and I mean many) doctors appointments. Without flexibility in our schedules, it would be very difficult if not impossible. From hormone testing, cell and motility testing, ultra sounds and x-ray procedures, employees need time to navigate these procedures. They are not pleasant physically and it is emotionally exhausting. These are just the diagnostic procedures we have completed so far! This does not include further hormonal treatments and testing either of us may need, or the possibility of IVF.

Right now, we are focusing on the small lifestyle changes and each other, while we wait for more testing to be booked. We are happy to be able to have employers who recognize the importance of family. They continually work to support us in order to ensure we are available for our appointments as needed.

Without this support from our employers, we would not be able to fulfill one of my lifelong dreams, to have a family.

Due to the sensitive nature of this article the author wishes to remain anonymous.